Join Me In Death
by CypherKitty
Summary: After the game. Alice's POV. Atman shows Alice her fate .
1. Stolen Angel

Yay a new fic. I hope its better this time. My other ones were crap. Enjoy!! If the colours are wrong on the masks, tell me and i'll change it.  
  
Chapter 1 - Stolen Angel  
  
God is a stolen angel,  
  
Taken from the sky.  
  
Love will never perish,  
  
As long as you are here.  
  
Alice looked around. Everything seemed blank and dismal. She had no idea where she was, what was going on? The last thing she knew she was with Yuri and now she was here. In this dreary place that looked like it was raining continually, but without the water. What had happened to Yuri, and where was he?  
  
Everything around her seemed to be blurry and distant, almost as if it was out of focus. She noticed there were buildings around her but they didn't seem real. Almost as if they were only half there, they were translucent.  
  
Alice began to worry. What evil deed had been performed to get her to end up in this frightful place? Where and what was this world? Who had done it and for what purpose? All the questions made her panic stricken and fearful. She pulled her clasped hands up to her chest and closed her eyes hoping that it was all a dream.  
  
"Now, now Precious, do not worry." Came as very quiet and warm voice beside her. It startled Alice and she jumped in fright. Turning round she saw a woman dressed in dark blue. She couldn't see her face because the cloak that she was wearing was pulled over her face, so that her features were covered in shadows. "You are scared, young one?" Came the voice again. The wording was odd for a voice that seemed so juvenile but it sounded wise and sapient.  
  
Alice nodded and managed to get her voice above a whisper and so it didn't shake too much. "What has happened? Where am I? Where's Yuri? What is this place? Who sent me here? Who is responsible?" She interrogated her in one breath and she felt it gushing out of her as she felt the exhaustion from all the worrying.  
  
"Hush your questions Precious. All will become plain in due time. Do not deplete your energy over such matters, the answers are coming." Alice could sense no malice from this woman, she didn't have any aura at all. Apart from an ambience of darkness about her, but then Alice knew that everyone had a part of them that was dark. "Now if you please, will you follow me." She wasn't asking it was more of an order. This whole world made Alice anxious and her head ached from not knowing what was going on.  
  
She followed her to a grand looking house, that like the others, appeared like it wasn't fully there. As the woman opened the door for her and she entered, she gasped. The transparent house had lost its opaque form and was now totally solid. The woman laughed quietly and offered her a chair by the one that she was now sitting on.  
  
Alice accepted and found herself sitting by a table set up for morning tea. It was similar to what she was used to when she was home, in England. The table was covered in a white cloth with a pattern of little pink and blue flowers, and the cups and saucers had the same types of characteristics. There was even a small plate of raisin scones with a butter dish and knife.  
  
It made Alice smile in a happy sadness, she remembered tea with her father and members of the Parish. Even as a little girl she remembered her fathers friends coming over and picking her up. Meanwhile they would tell her father that he was a very lucky man to have such a talented daughter as her. She had never really understood what they had meant, but she knew now. After what she had been through it would have been stupid not to know.  
  
The woman had sat down, she still hadn't taken her hood from her face but Alice realised that she may have been conscious of her appearance. She smiled at the woman and she got the distinct feeling that she was receiving one back. Pouring out the tea the woman spoke.  
  
"So you miss your father?" Alice was astonished by such a question but the tone was with such compassion that she did not feel as if it was an enquiry to be wary of.  
  
"Yes. I have since...."  
  
"Since that dreadful night. Who knew that you'd meet the person that you were seeking help from, only to find that he was the enemy. Disastrous." There was pain in Anima's voice, it sounded like many people speaking at the same time. It was peculiar but remembering the events made thinking very hard for her.  
  
"How do you know?" Alice asked inquisitively, accepting the cup from the woman and taking a deep draught of the sweet tea. Another laugh came from the woman but it took a melancholy tone.  
  
"Unfortunately my dear, it is my business to know. However happy or sad, I have to know such things." She took a scone from the pile and proceeded to spread butter over each and putting it on her own plate. "Oh I am foolish." She said with a start. "I am Anima." She sounded happier in her act of idiocy and tucked into her scone.  
  
"That is a very rare name." Alice said thoughtfully. She was actually thinking that it was a rather bizarre and weird name but she said nothing to enlighten that thought. The ashen haired woman took the example of Anima and she too picked a scone and buttered it.  
  
"Yes it is a weird name, you don't have to hide that from me. I cannot remember my real name from before...." Anima cut herself off and made herself become very interested in the scone she was eating.  
  
"From before what, Anima?" She asked cautiously. Alice minded her tone so not to push her into saying anything. She didn't want to invade a strangers privacy, especially if it was meant to stay confidential. Anima shrugged off the question as she offered to fill up Alice's empty cup with more tea. Alice took the hint and agreed to another cup.  
  
They stayed quiet for more minutes than Alice cared to remember. The dust seemed to settle and everything was silent, almost as if everything was dead; stone dead. Alice kept averting her gaze from Anima, she didn't know where to look. She wondered where Yuri was, or any of the others. She felt very lonely and she wasn't sure whether she would see them again. It didn't really seem that she was taken prisoner, but she wasn't sure of the jail yet so how could she know?  
  
"You are not a prisoner here." Alice gasped, firstly because Anima had answered her question that she had just been thinking about and secondly because the cool voice was sharp and loud against the silence. She spoke again. "It was a soul for a soul. You were willing, it was your other half who did not fill the other side of the bargain."  
  
"What do you mean?" Alice was beginning to get scared again. The voice was deep and cold and it was different to Anima's usual tone. She was getting very confused, what was she having tea with? A monster? A devil? Her jailor?  
  
"Your master."  
  
Darkness appeared around her and it was then that she saw who the voices were coming from. The house and the table was not there anymore and she saw the most hateful things that she had seen for a long time. The four Masks and Atman.  
  
"Oh no."  
  
"Well, well." The Grail Mask chuckled "It looks like the brat harmonixer didn't do his job properly and he left this sweet soul to diminish with us."  
  
"What shall we do? How about we see her soul stripped from all its glory?" Said the Gold mask heartlessly. He was interrupted by another mask whose voice set Alice's teeth on edge.  
  
"I think that we should rape her mind. Beat her with memories so that she will be nothing but a tedious shell that we can use as a puppet for all of our needs." All of the masks agreed with noisy and scathing shouts.  
  
"Shut your pesky roaring. You give me a headache." Spoke Atman who had shrunk to the size of a normal head and was now forming a body. None of the other masks took much notice of this but their voices had become whispers on deciding her fate. The transformation took no more than a couple of seconds and he drew off the mask that she had first met in Yuri's graveyard.  
  
She shrieked as she saw that Atman wasn't actually a mask at all, he was a man, and he was in human form. Black hair fell down his back to his waist and he wore a violet frock coat and trousers. His eyes were green with flecks of brown and gold. His expression though very regal and majestic, was cold and calculating. He wasn't horrible to look at but she wished that he would put his mask back on so that she could hate him more. It was harder to despise someone who looked so gentlemanly.  
  
"Alice, you see my true form, no? Is it as hateful as you wanted it to be?" Without letting her answer he continued. "I thought as much. Anima, come here will you." He said smiling. Anima came to his side and bowed graciously. He acknowledged this and kissed her underneath her hood. "You make sure that Alice is well kept. Make sure that the masks do not interfere with her."  
  
He turned to the masks and told them to change into their forms. They took their orders and the alterations began. The Gold mask formed itself into a woman with fair hair and golden yellow eyes. She was dressed in a long yellow dress that hung to the floor with gold embellishments. She looked at Alice snootily and went to Atman to give him innocent kisses of affection upon his cheek.  
  
The Grail mask changed mostly in the same way as the Gold mask but she had blue features and attire. She was clad in a white shirt with blue satin trousers that looked like they belonged to a male. A gentleman in the Renaissance, but she had her hair cut short into spikes. It looked like she wanted to be male at any rate. She didn't glare at Alice as the Gold mask had done, it was softer yet it was still cold.  
  
The Staff mask changed into a man with brown and red wavy hair that reached his shoulders. His attire was not so different to Atman but it was in a blood red colour. His eyes were most intriguing, they actually looked like they were on fire. Anima went to his side and she spoke to him quietly, his fleeting glances darted to her but they were not cold at all, only compassionate.  
  
Finally the Sword mask mutated into a very lean and skinny man who had a hooked nose. He didn't look like he had a specific colour but he was a Mask and that was all that mattered. He grinned at Alice in a seething and hungry manner, almost as if he wanted to eat and defile her soul there and then.  
  
They all took their places behind Atman and looked at her. Alice didn't know what to do, it felt like she was in purgatory being judged. The only stares that she did not receive was from the Staff Mask and Anima who were standing next to each other whispering quietly. Atman took no clear notice of them and came closer to her.  
  
"My, my. Yuri must be kicking himself." He gave a mirthless laugh and the swarthy hair behind him fell over his shoulder. "Well, he cannot save you now. How does it feel to be dead?" 


	2. Death's Beloved

Yay, another chapter. God I'm good. You get the backgrounds of the Masks.... Interesting isn't it?! Yes I quite agree.  
  
Chapter 2 - Death's Beloved  
  
Death used you baby  
  
As long as you're alive.  
  
There's no escape, my darling  
  
Eternity is so long.  
  
"Dead?" Alice breathed, her voice cracked and her mind raced. Atman's face was emotionless and he showed no sympathy but no revelry either. He was unreadable yet he continued to watch her. His eyes kept darting to Anima and the Staff mask talking.  
  
"She hadn't noticed. How utterly pathetic." Muttered the Gold mask with a shrill cackle but she was quietened with a sharp look from Atman. The Sword mask sniggered hysterically and was hit brutally by the Grail mask telling him to silence his prattle.  
  
"You did not know, Alice?" Atman asked. She shook her head. She was totally speechless, she had thought that the Masks had only cautioned her, she didn't believe that they would take Yuri from her again and not like this. She shook violently and felt weak. Anima and Atman saw this and she rushed over to her to steady her on her feet. Atman held her arm so that she did not fall and he summoned the Grail mask to get her a chair.  
  
The room immediately changed and she was back in the same house that she had been drinking tea in. It was a lot darker now and there was no table or chairs. Everything still looked monotonous and dismal but it was welcomed more than the endless obscurity of where she had just been.  
  
The chair came and she was sitting down. What would she do now? Death with the Masks did not seem like an appealing aspect to look forward to. Atman did not appear to be as evil as she thought he had been, but then he had got what he wanted; her soul. She knew that Anima was a kind person, from what she knew of her she was very warm-hearted by nature. Was Anima dead too? Had she gone through this?  
  
"Do not fear the Masks they cannot harm you as long as you are by my side." Anima whispered in her ear and she smiled, assuring her. She kneeled down to the left of her and Atman left them to speak to the Masks. Keeping her voice low she continued to talk. "The Masks cannot be trusted, they may appear to help you sometimes but do not fall for it. You can rely on the Staff Mask, he is a very good friend of mine. The Grail Mask, she is kind but I still do not trust her totally. I am not sure whether it is an act or not."  
  
"How do you know that the Staff Mask is trustworthy?" Alice asked keeping her voice as a murmur.  
  
"I have been here a long time. The Gold mask and the Sword mask are cunning and they are malicious. They will shred your soul at the blink of an eye. When we get out of here I will tell you everything but I do not know whether they will let you off without trying something on." Anima left her side and went to talk with Atman and the Masks. They left her alone to think to herself and she could still hear the muttering between the Gold and the Sword masks about what they could do to her.  
  
After a while they dispersed and the masks came to her in a line. Their stares made her feel cold and lifeless, she could not stand it but she knew that Anima was close by. That meant anything that was done would be stopped immediately.  
  
The Grail Lady came towards her and took her hand. She bit her lip as she saw the sadness in Alice's eyes. The cold hands covered hers and she felt something in her palm but she quickly put it in her pocket as soon as the lady had let go.  
  
The Gold Mask was right next to her and ran a finger across her cheek bone. She gasped as the pain welled in her cheek and blood dripped down the side of her face. The golden woman gave a giggle and walked off. She stopped before Atman and gave him another kiss before she left. Surely he would stop that? But he did nothing, he stood there, looking distant and in deep thought.  
  
The Sword Mask glided to her side and grinned in a incensed manner. He did not touch her but she felt someone in her mind. It was horrible, something pulled at all her unhappy thoughts and mixed them up into a ball. The happy memories were next and a hand tore and ripped at them, he broke them up into a thousand pieces, like a mirror. They were ruined and Alice felt limp.  
  
She was crying and she felt like she had died again. Alice could not stop herself from weeping and she shuddered with every sob. Then she felt cool hands cup her face and they were tilted to make her look at the owner of the cool flesh.  
  
She stared into red eyes, the ones that looked like they were on fire. He did not talk to her but she felt another person in her mind. She wailed again but this time it was soothing, and it felt like a calm wave of water passed over her. Her mind was soothed and she felt at peace within her mind.  
  
"Do not cry. Everything will be fair, just stay strong and you will prosper. You may even see your love again."  
  
Alice looked into his big eyes. She had not expected such a thing to be said. She nodded as he took his hands from her face and left the room. Atman had gone from the room already, and Anima was the only one left in the vicinity. She took a cloth and wiped Alice's blood from her face. She walked into the next room of the house with a gentle shake of her head.  
  
The ashen haired woman followed and she saw she was in a kitchen. It was outfitted with pine furniture and the walls where painted in terracotta. There were all the usual machines that people would regularly find in a kitchen apart from one thing. It looked like a glass orb sitting on bronze feet but it was cloudy and she was sure that she could see pictures and people moving in it murky depths.  
  
Anima saw Alice looking at it and the pictures were gone. The haze soon disappeared and the orb became clear, almost glass looking. Still hooded, Anima made to make the tea, she busied herself quietly and sung under her breath.  
  
"Anima?"  
  
"Yes Precious, what is it?" She said calmly and she turned from her kettle and looked at Alice who was standing in the door of the kitchen. At first Alice didn't really know what to say, she had just wanted to speak to someone. "Ahh, I am sorry. I am so used to being on my own I forget that I have company." The light shone on Anima's lips and she smiled sweetly while offering Alice a high stool chair next to the breakfast bar.  
  
"You never have company? What about Atman? The Masks?" The kettle shrieked and Anima brought the tea and the cups to them on the bar. She sighed again as she brought some Custard Creams out of the cupboard and opened the packet.  
  
"Atman is a very busy person, and as for the Masks they too have jobs but even so I am not really accustomed to their company. I have my own tasks to do, but they are infrequent and are not routine." Alice held her hands around the cup and felt its warmth, she had felt pretty cold in that dark place. She was glad that Anima was sitting with her and talking normally, she felt alive. That sounded stupid when she was dead but she hadn't actually realised that she was dead in the first place.  
  
"So what do they do?" Anima sipped the hot tea and placed the cup upon the saucer with a quiet 'chink' and looked at her. Alice was still amazed that she couldn't see Anima's face even though she was sitting so close to her.  
  
"The Masks or Atman?"  
  
"Both." Alice replied in curiosity. Anima sighed and bit into a Custard Cream, she chewed it quickly and began again.  
  
"Atman, well you should know what he does." Alice shook her head, she still didn't understand. "You fought with him and you lost. He is in a sense, Death, the personification of it anyway. He took your soul for the price of one precious to you. Yuri, I believe."  
  
"So Yuri did not try to win back my soul?" This question hurt her painfully but she needed to know, she wanted to understand this formidable mess. Anima did not answer at first, it was like she was pondering what to say or how to say it.  
  
"I am sure he would have done, Precious, if he had known. Yet it seems that he and his friends did not look at all the items that they found with much care. Maybe then they would known that they needed to built up Yuri's malice to fight the Masks."  
  
"They had to fight the Masks?"  
  
"No, because they did not know that they had to." Anima said this miserably. Could she sense the irony in the situation. Had she known all along? Did she know her fate? What was Atman planning? "The state of this escapade was not without loss it seems. What a shame that you have to loose each other at the end, but I have no control over that."  
  
"Who does?"  
  
"No one that I know. Otherwise I would be banging on their front door for a full refund on my life." She giggled uneasily, and sighed again as she poured more tea into both of their cups. "If only things had been different, eh?"  
  
"Yes." She murmured. "What do the Masks do?"  
  
"Ahh now that is an interesting question. I hope you have time to listen. Oh, we have all the time in the world what was I thinking? Well, Atman was having a hard job being Death and all, so he decided that he needed help. The Gold mask, or Gold to the others, was the first to become his aid.  
  
She was taken from her family who were very religious. Atman fell in love with her and after a while he made her insane because his appearances where said to be the return of the devil. Her family cast her out because of these visions, into the desert far from where they lived and left her there to die.  
  
She was known as Jin then, but as soon as Atman came for her she was turned into the Gold Mask to do his bidding. She hated him for the longest time and she was forced into becoming the form that you saw her transform from. It is a reminder to her and all of them that Atman is their master." Anima took a sip of tea and paused.  
  
"So he made her family disown her on purpose?" Anima nodded. Alice was amazed that Gold, or Jin had been alive in the first place. How could Atman do such a thing? Despite Alice's thoughtfulness Anima continued.  
  
"When Atman became bored of her he decided that his work was again too much and went out to search for another who would satisfy his 'love' as he calls it. He soon found it in a vicious mortician who loved nothing more but to slash open the bodies of his victims and the clients he was to inspect. Most of the people were his victims, so he had a free reign on everything. He could kill anyone he wanted and no-one would know.  
  
His name was Kenshin, or known to you as the Sword mask. Anyway, he was willing to come into Atman's service and soon became an immortal killing machine with no mercy. Even Atman has mercy, but he was Death himself without feeling. Gold became very attached to him and came out of her shell where Atman was concerned but he had already lost his love for her. Kenshin is the worst out of all of them. I know what he did to you earlier, I am just glad that Gustav was there to help you but I'll get on to him in a minute."  
  
"You knew and didn't do anything?" Alice replied feeling slightly irritated.  
  
"It wasn't that I wouldn't it was because I couldn't. Gustav has better telepathy abilities than anyone, he would have been the only one able to help you and as I can see, he did." Anima said wearily. Alice felt guilty for snapping at her but she couldn't help it. She still wasn't sure whether that all of this was real.  
  
Anima got off the chair and motioned her out into the garden, it was very pretty and the flowers where in neat borders. It reminded her a lot of home, she almost imagined her Father walking out of the shed at the end and asking her to help him pot some plants. Yet she knew that it was only a fantasy.  
  
She followed Anima to a cushioned bench by a rose bush and sat down upon it for a more comfortable setting to talk. Alice sat down beside her with her hands in her lap, waiting of the story to resume.  
  
"Go on, what about Gustav and the Grail mask?"  
  
"Ahh well, you see the colours their features possess give you a clue of how they died. Jin by the sun, Kenshin by gas." Anima was interrupted.  
  
"Gas?"  
  
"Oh did I forget to mention that?" Alice nodded. "Hm, it was the quickest way Atman could kill him I suppose. Though green gas doesn't really sound that easy, now that I think about it. Where was I? Ahh yes. Grail. She was named Miruna, and she died by drowning. Atman had fun with her, he scared her and she fell into the water from the highest point of some cliffs." Alice winced at the thought, everything with Atman was death and having fun with it.  
  
"He shocked her into falling and then she became another of his minions. Cursed to be a slave as long as she was in his power." Anima nodded. She picked a rose from the bush and began to stroke the rouge petals with care. Alice decided that Atman was one of the most ghastly people she ever come to meet, he and Albert Simon.  
  
"Exactly. She lost her voice after she became Grail. I had heard that she had had a very pretty voice but now they force her to speak. It is not her real voice anymore, all the souls that she has killed have been formed to make her voice. Its horrible and I can see it hurts her to speak in such a way but she will not dare to speak in her normal tone because it keeps a part of her that is not Atman's."  
  
"It keeps her mortal."  
  
"Yes. After her I was brought in, not as a mask but I was the welcoming committee so to speak. Atman had designs from me to become another mask but he could tell that I was not fit for the job. So he went out to finish his collection and he brought back Gustav.  
  
He was totally different to the others, he had no intention of killing anyone. Even now he has still to kill soul. At first Atman was going to get rid of him but then he realised Gustav's powers. After that he stayed and he is used as the finder of worthy souls, he hates it but he knows that it is the only way he can survive Atman's wrath without killing anyone himself."  
  
"Oh my. How did he die?"  
  
"He was burnt, accused of being a sorcerer, though that was all Atman's doing. Burned at the stake, dreadful." Alice felt sorry for Gustav and she realised that Anima's voice was saddened and she was picking at the rose with her nails. The flower was becoming ragged and tattered but Anima did not seem to worry about it. "Do they remember anything about how it all happened?"  
  
"The elder ones do. Their memory is coming back to them, even I have no memory of what happened to me. Though I am sure of one thing."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Atman is growing tried of his collection, he wants another companion. Which means that if what I believe is true. Atman is going to make you one of them, he wants to make you into a mask." 


	3. Heavens Heathen

I'm back and kicking. Cant really say much for Alice. Geez I feel sorry for her.  
  
Chapter 3- Heavens Heathen  
  
Angels love you honey  
  
Treasured for eternity  
  
God will protect you darling  
  
Never feel the pain  
  
"Atman is growing tried of his collection, he wants another companion. Which means that if what I believe is true. Atman is going to make you one of them, he wants to make you into a mask."  
  
"How observant of you Anima." Came a voice sounding too like Atman's for comfort. "Alice I am glad that you are settling in because you will be here for a long time and in the company of such worthy companions." Atman appeared beside her and put his hand on her shoulder. Anima stayed silent, she was still picking at the rose, without taking the slightest notice. "Anima, my dear. I will need to take your friend away from you, not for long but I will be most appalled if you plan to stop me."  
  
"Never would I do that Master." Anima replied quietly. Alice wondered why her voice had broken and she was finding it very hard to answer at all. "Take her Master, be kind to her. She is innocent to this world and its operations."  
  
"You all were innocent until I lovingly broke you all into it." As he said this Alice was forced to stand next to him, he had a smirk on his face. Alice knew he was enjoying torturing Anima and he continued in a most spiteful manner. "Do not hope that she will fail in becoming what I want her to. She will be the most beautiful flower, the most venomous Poison Ivy that ever walked these realms. Unlike you, your gift is foul, you should never have been born. Your kin however has none of this defect, this disease, he is perfect. You are a disgrace, now tend to the Masks, their moaning drives me insane."  
  
"Yes Master." Anima rose and came to Atman. She kissed him on the cheek and scuttled away. Alice was sure that she could hear sobs coming from her, but they became more distant as the gap between them widened.  
  
"Now my little one, I want to show you something." Alice didn't have a chance to say anything as the surroundings faded until it merged with more grey colours coupled with a very distinct silver aura. She felt her feet touch ground and everything was in focus once more.  
  
The room was grander than the ones she had been in previously. The walls were coloured in a pale shade of cream and the adornments were made of gold. How ever light it seemed it reminded her of Keith's castle, it seemed rather dingy; almost neglected.  
  
The floor she was standing on was covered in black marble which contrasted horribly with the other decor in the room. It shone in a nauseating manner, she could have been staring at a mirror floor if she hadn't been so observant.  
  
Atman walked in front of her, his hair falling in straight strands down his back, but he took no notice of her obvious distress. She felt safe with Anima, like a shield against the masks and prominently: Atman. He was going to make her suffer, probably suffer more than any of the other masks. She was sure that that would be his plan, like the....  
  
"The tortured soul of a battered princess. The light spirit doing the dark wraiths vocation. How right you are, clever Alice." Atman turned to her with a simpering smile upon his stone like face. Alice wondered what he meant by those words. Would Yuri had to have gone through this too? She would have never let him do such a thing, but she had stopped him hadn't she? She had taken his place. "Yes, you are very right. Light doing Dark's job. My plans had been set on Yuri, a harmonixer's soul is hardened to many things, meaning that they are easier to work with. Pure opium, to know you have such a spirit, but you my little one, you were stubborn, weren't you?"  
  
"I would never let you take Yuri. Never would I let him become a member of this hellish realm." Alice burst. She felt so angered with him, she wanted Yuri back and she wanted to be alive. Courtesy could be forgotten now, things had gone too far, besides Atman didn't deserve it. "I did it because I would not let you torture him as you have me. I wanted to save him, and if that meant taking me then so be it."  
  
"Feisty. Ah, maybe you will not be so bad after all. Show more of this and things will be a lot easier for you, that is assured." Atman walked on again and came to a very large mirror looking object, yet it did not show a reflection it depicted many different people.  
  
Alice came to his side out of pure curiosity, Atman was showing her this with pride. Each picture displayed a different person and then it skipped to another, that was until it stopped on a dark haired woman sitting alone on grass with a little bottle and a glass of wine.  
  
"Ah ha! Now you will see your fate, you will become so powerful, so beautiful." She was pulled into the glass and she found she was sitting next to the woman. Alice looked around and saw that Atman was nowhere near her, where was he? The woman turned her eyes to Alice but she did not jump, in fact she smiled.  
  
"You have come to lead me?"  
  
"I... er..."  
  
"Thank you, you have given me strength." Alice was disturbed by this, but she didn't know what was going on so she watched. The woman poured the rest of the contents of the little bottle in to the glass with the othe liquid and she raised the glass up to Alice. "Bless you and to the stars." Alice was still scared but smiled.  
  
"To the stars." Before she knew it the woman had drunk the wine and she lay down upon the grass and closed her eyes. What was going on? The woman choked violently and Alice screamed. She jumped to her feet and turned away from her. She felt a presence next to her and she realised that she was against Atmans form, sheilding her from the sight. Atman forced her to look round, Alice felt extremely foolish in this act of weakness but again Atman took no notice. The woman lay still now and a silvery white vapour was coming from her chest.  
  
The mist formed into a person, Alice realised that it was the woman, it was the woman's soul attached to her heart by a fine string. Atman gazed at this sight for a moment and the smile began to form across his face once more. He neared the body and taking, what looked like a jewelled dagger cut the link that held heart and soul together. He held the link in his hand and it changed to having a red hue. Looking at her he spoke.  
  
"Alice, take the ornament that Grail gave you from your pocket and put it around your neck." Alice did so, but very cautiously. It was a chain with a silver pendant, within the pendant there was another orb, one like the one in Anima's kitchen but a lot smaller. She placed it around her neck and she felt as if the world had gone silent. She had gone deaf.  
  
Atman came towards her and fixed the tether that he held onto the orb and it disappeared before her own eyes. The silence had become a screaming pain within her head. It was as if all the dead were calling to her, telling her to stop afflicting them with this pain.  
  
She must have screamed and fallen to the floor, because Atman had picked her up. She was held in his arms, her body lolling against Atman's form. Alice felt like her whole head was exploding and her body felt crumpled with the weight of the noise. She was in pain, and she had never felt anything like it.  
  
Alice felt herself falling into unconsciousness, and being taken through the mirror. She could hear Atman breathing, but he was dead wasn't he? She felt herself breathing too, okay, so that must mean that they still breathe in this domain too. A strange thought she knew, but she was loosing herself. She was sinking into the screams, into memories and the dark.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
When she awoke she was still in the marble floored room. She was laying on a set of cream cushions the details were a blur to her. Her eyes were unfocused but she could see and hear that there were other people in the room. When she realised that she could actually hear normal things she found that those repulsively spine-chilling screams had stopped.  
  
Even though she could hear words being spoken, she could not decipher them.The masks were there and so was Anima, Alice felt the need to call her but shoe could not raise her voice above a whisper. No-one noticed for a while that she was awake, she could not get up or do anything, her energy had died on her and she could not move.  
  
She thought about that woman, she had helped kill her. That was why Atman wanted her, she looked like an angel and the victims would willingly take their lives knowing that she would take them to heaven. She could not give them such comfort, she knew of no heaven and to her knowledge there was no God either.  
  
The basis of any religion would collapse if this information was to ever become known. How awful! So many people had risked and devoted their lives to something that was totally false. Her father and all the people at the Vatican had lived their lives in vain and for a cause that had no base for belief in the first place.  
  
She too had lived with the knowledge that all her efforts were contributed to the greater mass of good deeds; to her religion, and to God. That was all a farse now and she had lost all faith in that respect. Yes she still loved him as a saviour but a fantasy was all he would be to her now.  
  
It was hard to comprehend such a thing, her mind rejected the thought instantly; God did not exist. The devil was all too real, he was the one who made her into this thing, a 'homicidal angel' he would most likely call it. Atman was the devil in her eyes whether he was or not.  
  
A hand touched Alice's arm and she jumped out of fright, only to see that Anima was sitting down with her. She still wore the hood over her face and Alice felt the need to know what she looked like, she wanted to know the face of her only freind in this world. She was a friend how long she had known her was not relevent, it was that she was there when she needed her.  
  
"Alice, my Precious are you okay?" She asked tenderly, the sound was blissful to her ears. The voice was so soft and compassionate, like silk compared to the pain of the screams. Alcie sat up and felt weak, it had taken a lot out of her, she was not fit for such a thing, hopefully she had failed miserably, That was too much to hope for.  
  
"Yes. What happened to me? I...."  
  
"Shush, Precious." Anima sat by her and took her hand in hers. He voice was worried and weak, almost as if her fate had been sealed. "You have taken your first soul and your future is determind. I cannot change his mind, he wants you and you can do nothing about it. You are his Angel of Death."  
  
"No! I will not do it."  
  
"You have no choice and whats worse, is he will take your memory with it. I have failed you." 


	4. Angelic Memories

OMG yes I have updated again. I am sorry that this isnt a very exciting chapter but I have to set the scene and all. I am halfway through the next chapter so hopfully, the next one will be quicker.. Well… I am not sure whether you will like this but I guess that's how it goes. Enjoy if you can bear to… 

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Chapter 4 - Angelic Memories

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I cherish the tears that you cry

I idolise your spirit as you leave me.

I'm craving for you lips as we touch

I just hate the way we're running out of time

"You have no choice and what's worse, is he will take your memory with it. I have failed you." 

Alice looked up at Anima and she caught her breath. Even in her weakness she had succeeded. In Atman's eyes she was perfect but he could not see how, she had failed miserably. Tears welled up in her eyes when she remembered that her memory would be taken from her. She would forget Yuri, she would forget how much she loved him. Her father, her friends and all the people that she had met on the journey. The places, the senses and experience she had associated with them. 

What could she do? She had no power against Atman, and he would be her master. Anima would be there for her, but all the learning that she had received here about the masks was for nothing. Would she remember how kind Anima had been to her and would Atman distort her love of the living, and the people she cherished most? 

"How can he do this, Anima? I failed, I fainted and I cannot take the screaming" 

"You did not fail, you were stronger that most. Gustav was in a coma for three weeks before he awoke and regained himself. You passed with flying colours Precious. I thought I could make him stop his quest for a new mask, but it was in vain, his mind was set." Anima's voice cracked and she used the back of her hand to wipe the tears from her hooded face. The laughter of the masks echoed around the room, though they were in the other corner, Alice could still hear what they were saying. It didn't matter because she had no care for their pathetic rabble. 

Gustav looked over and he took the moment of opportunity when the mask erupted in laughter again to join them sitting on the cushions. His hair was tied in a loose ponytail behind his back and his eyes still held the flames within them. After all that Anima had told her about him she felt so sorry for him, but what was that now when she would not remember a thing after Atman had finished with her?

He gazed at them both calmly, his hand found its way on top of Anima's and he turned his whole form to face her. Alice saw the compassion in his eyes, it reminded her of the time when Zhuzhen had found Yuri in the tower and Yuri had turned back to normal. The sheer relief and emotion that showed through them was amazing, yet in Gustav's case they were worried. 

"Anima, listen benevolent one. You know that you become too attached to anything, you have done it again." Alice smiled at the tone that he was taking with her friend, she could see now why Anima trusted him. The one thing that did make her wonder was his accent, it was a very distinct pronunciation. She could not place her finger on where she had heard it before; she knew it well, but from where? "Though Atman has decided that Alice will become his new plaything, and she will forget all of that before her, I know that there is some hope, if she is willing to take the risk." 

"Then he has not changed his mind?" Anima said little above a whisper. Gustav shook his head, his hair coming loose from the tie. He took to it quickly doing it back up again and set his eyes upon Alice. He was waiting for his words to sink in, but it already had, she had no time to adjust these days, so she spoke. 

"Risk? What risk and what will it accomplish?" Anima's body language changed, it seemed more comfortable and confident within itself. Gustav sat properly beside them and took a deep breath as he decided what he was going to offer to her. 

"I must not speak of it here, people know exactly how to listen to a conversation without being noticed." He took a quick glance at the group who were in eager talk about Alice. Jin was looking rather annoyed that her "love" was not enough for her master, and joined in playfully about what they would do to her when she became one of them. 

"Do you know when we will be able to speak again?" Alice asked. 

"No, though I think Atman will let you rest before he turns you, so I would expect you have a day before you have to meet him again." Alice was not sure that was a good thing or not, would she rather wait or get on with losing her mind? The thought was not a pleasant one but she felt a force within her grouping her memories together and holding on for dear life. 

Alice began to quiver, she found this a little too hard to believe but she knew full well that it was all too real. She was really dead and she was going to lose her mind while alternatively becoming a killing machine. Either didn't sound to entertaining but what was worse was that she would probably get both. 

"What will we be able to do about it? I mean is there any point in Alice having a day, surely the time span doesn't matter. I mean the outcome is the same." Alice knew Anima had taken the same thoughts and asked him, she had only done it because Alice couldn't ask herself. Gustav shook his head and a slight boyish grin appeared on his face. 

"I have a plan that may work but it may take all night, and there is always the same chance that it may not work at all." Alice couldn't help but feel like hugging him, there **was** hope, and even if it didn't work at least she would know that she had tried. 

"What is it?" Anima asked in surprise, she sounded just as hopeful as Alice felt, maybe there was something that Gustav could do. That they could all do.

"There may be a way to keep your thoughts, meaning that you may be able to over come Atman." Came his reply. 

"How!?" Replied both Anima and Alice in unison.

"I will have to tell you later." Just as he said this the masks came over and started to sneer at the little group. Jin looked at Gustav to Anima and back again, something made her have that disgusting jeering expression on her face, that look that made Alice feel annoyed and paranoid at the same time. 

"Having a nice time, oh holy white one?" The tone in her voice sparked something of in Alice, she went to stand up, ready to hurt the gold thing standing in front of her. She totally forgot her ordeal with the soul and stood up with all the grace she had. Just as she did this she felt a rush to the head and there was a lapse in her mind.

The screaming… No, no, not again. She felt herself falling again but being held in warm arms, but she knew she was falling further within herself. She saw the black of unconsciousness and a voice calling her to sleep. She felt so warm, she felt safe and her mind was at peace…

*~*~*

As she felt the warmth of the dark lift her into reality again, she could sense that someone was holding her, tight in their arms. They were strong arms, and deep breathing rocked her out of the din of dreams. The embrace was so like when… Yuri...

She opened her eyes but they were blurry. All she could see was brown locks covering an angular face in a mess fashion. It was Yuri; she was with him again. At last, she was with the person she loved the most. 

"Yuri…" She could see him smile but shake his head, each second she could see better and her eyes focused. She felt another presence rush to her side and sit beside her. She heard whispered voices but she couldn't decipher their meaning. The arms that were holding her moved and propped her up onto the form that they were attached. 

It was then that she came to, she saw the hooded Anima and as she turned her head, she saw she was in the arms of Gustav. It couldn't be Gustav, it was Yuri, and Yuri had…. She realised that it was her hallucination as she was coming into the "living" world again.

"Alice you shouldn't scare me like that." Alice was just getting her baring again when she saw that she was back in Anima's house, she was safe. For the moment anyway. She lost herself in looking around the room, it had to be Anima's house, but she had never been here. She was laying on the bed and her friends around her. Alice felt the tears well up in her eyes and topple over her cheek. "Oh, Alice…" 

For the first time she cried, and she did not let anything stop her pour out her soul. She felt Gustav pull her closer to him, and she turned so she could be held completely. He was so like Yuri in the way he held her that she felt as if he was the only comfort. She knew it wasn't him but he was here, and he was hugging her; that was all that she needed to know.

Anima sat beside them, Alice knew; she could feel her there. Yet as she cried she could feel a certain calmness settle around her. Gustav stroked her hair soothingly and began to sing to her in a whisper, it was not English but even still it was beautiful.

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"Er sagte, dass "ich müde bin" 

Er wird nicht zurückgebracht 

Sie zählen bis zu 100 

Sie träumen vom Einschlafen.

100 schlaflose Nächte 

In den Irrgärten der Liebe 

100 zufällige Schlüssel 

Aber nur zeroes als das Ergebnis.  


Sie zählen bis zu 100 

100 zufällige Namen 

Und Sie sollten schlafen und an ihn nicht denken 

Und Sie sollten schlafen und an ihn nicht denken 

Und Sie sollten schlafen und an ihn nicht denke"

Alice had stopped crying so she could listen to the words, she leant on Gustav's shoulder as she felt herself calming and bringing herself to a gentle acceptance of what was to happen. She breathed softly and looked up at the flaming eyes that gazed upon her, she could she Yuri within them. The pain that she experienced when she saw those ruddy eyes was so immense that it was almost as passionate as the love that she had for Yuri. 

She did not turn away, she couldn't. For some reason she felt that the only way to stay sane was to keep looking. She began to get confused and curled up tighter to him. She felt as if she was a child clinging to someone as if afraid of the dark. She probably was acting so stupidly but she was confused, she was the child, in this world anyway. 

"Was werden wir machen?" Anima whispered almost silently, her voice seemed weak and full of sorrow. Yet how could speak the language that Gustav sung to her in? How strange, her pronounciation was just as good as Gustav's. Maybe it was one of Anima's talents; she did say that she had beeen here a while. It was so odd. 

"Ich weiβ nicht, Mein Idee vielleicht nicht funktioniert. Ich bin nicht sicher, wird es möglich sein." Came the answer, Alice didn't know what they were saying but it sounded much the same as the last converstaion that they last had. The tones were hushed and worried; yes they were the same. 

"Sagen nicht diesen Sachen, fuhle ich jetzt schlecht" Anima sighed as she said this, Alice could see that she was torn with pain, even not being able to see her face, the mood was just as visible without sight. It went silent for a moment and she could feel the tension within the very air; her whole being ached and her head throbbed. It was like preparing for her death all over again.

Where was Yuri? When she needed him more than any thing he was no where; not even his voice would sound in her head. Nothing it was silent apart from hearing her inner child wail and sob as much as she wanted to do herself. She took a deep breath and prepared herself to speak. 

"So what is… is this plan?" Her voice was weaker than Anima's but it was still audiable, whether they could make out what she said was something different. They looked to her and Gustav gave her a smile. Anima passed her a tissue and Alice sensed that she was smiling too.

"Well It is rather difficult and a bit far fetched." Alice shook her head urgently, her voice gained volume and became sturdier. 

"I do not care, if there is a slight chance that it is possible then I will do anything." Anima placed a hand on her hidden cheek but Alice did not care of the risks she would rather fight and have her soul taken away from her than just give up. "Please tell me what it is you want me to do and I will do it..."

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"Was werden wir machen?" = 'What are we going to do?'

"Ich weiβ nicht, Mein Idee vielleicht nicht funktioniert. Ich bin nicht sicher, wird es möglich sein." = "I don't know, my idea may not work. I am not sure if it will even be possible."

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"Sagen nicht diesen Sachen, fuhle ich jetzt schlecht" = Don't say such things, I feel bad enough already


End file.
